My problems with Buddy
I have a few problems with Buddy Williard, and all of them are demonstrated nicely on the ski trip he takes with Esther. To start with, Esther clearly didn't want to go skiing, but he went to great pains to make sure the trip stayed on. "His persistence in the face of mulishness" could be seen as sweet, but really, if it's obvious your girlfriend doesn't want to do something, don't force her. Especially if it's a somewhat dangerous activity. Buddy's "persistance" is also shown when he persuades her to try the rope tow even though she protests. While Esther admits that she doesn't explicitly say no, it's concerning that Buddy is either unable to notice her fear and discomfort, or notices and doesn't care.
But the worst part happened after Esther's terrific crash. While she lays there, mouth full of snow, Buddy encourages her and checks her for injury. So far so good, how very caring of him. But then when Esther says she wants to go again, he shoots her down, and tells her she's unable because of a broken leg, with "A queer, satisfied expression". He seems strangely happy about Esther's debilitating injury.
To sum everything up, Buddy is encouraging and caring. But he's also oblivious to Esther's emotions, and worst of all, he has little investment in Esther's success or goals. He's even happy when she fails, or when she's unable to pursue said goals.
That last part might seem like a stretch, but this is a pattern for Buddy. For example, he tries to reassure her by saying that after marriage, she'll lose her interest in poetry. This shows that not only is he blind to how important poetry is to her and how upsetting that idea is, but that he's looking forward to the day she'll no longer have wishes and hobbies that diverge from his own. In general, Buddy's dismissive of Esther's passions, such as when he calls poetry "dust". These ideas probably come from the popular messaging of the time, and more directly from his mother, who believes that women are the footholds and men are the arrows. Buddy is made uncomfortable by Esther's desire to "shoot off in all directions" herself, because without her womanly support, how would he shoot his own arrow? Ever the optimist, Buddy believes that eventually Esther will settle down and shed her individual ambitions. To him, that's a natural conclusion. To her, it's a broken leg.
Despite all this, I don't really dislike Buddy. He obviously cares about Esther. He even tries to connect with her by writing poetry of his own and telling her about doctor-poets in an attempt to join their two worlds. Buddy seems like a sweet guy, but some of his views are outdated and misogynistic, which results in him coming off as callous and self-centered. I definitely think Esther would've been unhappy with him, but I respect him for trying so hard to change that. Still, he needs to learn to take a hint.
I definitely agree that Buddy can be pretty oblivious and unsupportive of Esther, although he doesn't seem to be aware of this until sometime around the scene where he visits Esther in the asylum. Buddy's actions are justified by the sexual double standard which makes him even more unaware that his behavior towards Esther is pretty rude, even though like you said, he obviously cares about Esther. He was upset to the point of appearing physically changed when he realizes that he may have been a factor in Esther and Joan's illnesses, which demonstrates that he doesn't really have bad intentions, but societal expectations make him less conscious of his faults.
ReplyDeleteYES the skiing incident was SO WEIRD. The fact that he found a sense of satisfaction in her injury was definitely confusing and made the dynamic of the scene uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with what you said though - even though we repeatedly cringe at everything that Buddy says and does, he isn't a truly cruel and awful person. Like you point out, a lot of his views are outdated and misogynistic, but taking into account that this story happens in a time period where these views were more widely accepted, the reader can sort of see why Buddy acts the way he does. I think Buddy is so used to everything being straightforward and factual, so it confuses him when Esther brings a lot of complex emotions and views on life to the table. Like you said though, Buddy REALLY needs to learn how to take a hint.
Esther and Buddy's relationship was weird to me--I kind of struggled to figure out whether they actually liked each other and Buddy's real intentions and what not. I think Buddy meant well. He obviously cares about Esther but I think it's really a problem of how he was brought up. If you're brought up by a mother who strongly believes in traditional gender roles and a female's place as a "support system" for her husband, it's likely you're going to end up believing in it too. I think what really made me dislike Buddy though was the near ending scene where he comes to Esther and asks her if he was the reason behind Esther and Joan's depression. Rather than seeming like he was there because he genuinely cared about their health and safety, it was more like he just wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders and cared about hisself. To top it off, he even said something about no one wanting to marry Esther because she had been in an asylum.
ReplyDeleteYes, I totally agree with you! I wasn't sure how to feel about Buddy at first but the skiing incident completely confirmed the weird vibes I was getting. Like you mentioned, it felt like Buddy always looked down on Esther and didn't take her interests seriously. At the end of the day, I'm sure Buddy still cares about Esther, but it's more of a condescending "that's nice that you have your own little goals" than "I respect you and support you."
ReplyDeleteThe skiing incident is definitely shows a lot about Buddy as a character, especially the fact that he isn't aware of Esther's emotions. I always thought it weird that he just couldn't take a hint, but I'm guessing he knew what she was feeling and just chose to ignore it. This is probably because of what you were saying in your post, that he thinks she'll lose interest and settle down with him.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Buddy's reaction to Esther's skiing injury was really weird to me. I think Buddy was satisfied when Esther got hurt because Esther is usually capable and ambitious, when he wants her to be subservient to and reliant on him. What I also found interesting was Buddy's role in Esther's perception of the subjective sexual double standard. Buddy saw Esther as 'wife material' while another man saw her as a 'slut' and treated her as such. I wonder if Buddy would show Esther the care he shows her if he viewed her the other way.
ReplyDeleteI feel like Buddy shouldn't be blamed for the sexual double standard and playing along with it, but the fact that he relishes Esther's injury while skiing still threw me off, like you said. It just seems so weird to me that he would smile while she's visibly hurt and possibly in pain. I'm sure that he cared about Esther, like many people said, but it doesn't seem like he's expressing that well, and he doesn't seem to think particularly highly of women's ambitions. At the end of the day, I think Buddy's character in The Bell Jar is meant to show how ridiculous the different standards for men and women are.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm still kind of confused about the skiing incident - when I first read it, I kind of half-assumed that this was a distorted, distrustful perspective of the situation, since we read about it in the middle of Esther spiraling into deeper depression during which she treats other people with a good amount of hostility. However, reading your post and all of the comments it seems that everyone else did not interpret that as a possibly unreliable narrator moment, and makes me incredibly worried about why Buddy had that satisfied smile at her injury.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way about the skiing incident. It made me feel really weird. It seems like he has a distorted view of Esther, and women in general. Rather than seeing her as a person equal to him, he sees her as a future wife, or an extension of himself. I believe that he does care about her, but he has high expectations for how a woman should act.
ReplyDeleteBuddy presuming to "teach" Esther to ski--when he's never skied himself, only "watched" others, and she doesn't even want to--is one of the great "mansplaining" scenes in American literature. His utter confidence as he explains things to her that he truly knows nothing about is breathtaking, as is his curious almost-pleasure when he's able to "diagnose" Esther's broken bone. He really likes diagnosing her (elsewhere he declares her "neurotic"), which isn't necessarily a good foundation for an egalitarian relationship. And we know that she has issues with overconfident male doctors.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you--I feel like Buddy showed a lot of his true self when he ignored Esther's emotions. You can tell someone really cares about you when they read your vibe and emotions and take that into account when interacting with you, and not just acting blind and taking your words of "I'm fine" and running with it.
ReplyDeletehelpful site sex toys,realistic dildo,horse dildo,cheap sex toys,wolf dildo,dildos,dog dildo,wolf dildo,sex chair More about the author
ReplyDelete