my problems with Buddy

I have a few problems with Buddy Williard, and all of them are demonstrated nicely on the ski trip he takes with Esther. To start with, Esther clearly didn't want to go skiing, but he went to great pains to make sure the trip stayed on. "His persistence in the face of mulishness" could be seen as sweet, but really, if it's obvious your girlfriend doesn't want to do something, don't force her. Especially if it's a somewhat dangerous activity. Buddy's "persistance" is also shown when he persuades her to try the rope tow even though she protests. While Esther admits that she doesn't explicitly say no, it's concerning that Buddy is either unable to notice her fear and discomfort, or notices and doesn't care. 

But the worst part happened after Esther's terrific crash. While she lays there, mouth full of snow, Buddy encourages her and checks her for injury. So far so good, how very caring of him. But then when Esther says she wants to go again, he shoots her down, and tells her she's unable because of a broken leg, with "A queer, satisfied expression". He seems strangely happy about Esther's debilitating injury.

To sum everything up, Buddy is encouraging and caring. But he's also oblivious to Esther's emotions, and worst of all, he has little investment in Esther's success or goals. He's even happy when she fails, or when she's unable to pursue said goals.

That last part might seem like a stretch, but this is a pattern for Buddy. For example, he tries to reassure her by saying that after marriage, she'll lose her interest in poetry. This shows that not only is he blind to how important poetry is to her and how upsetting that idea is, but that he's looking forward to the day she'll no longer have wishes and hobbies that diverge from his own. In general, Buddy's dismissive of Esther's passions, such as when he calls poetry "dust". These ideas probably come from the popular messaging of the time, and more directly from his mother, who believes that women are the footholds and men are the arrows. Buddy is made uncomfortable by Esther's desire to "shoot off in all directions" herself, because without her womanly support, how would he shoot his own arrow? Ever the optimist, Buddy believes that eventually Esther will settle down and shed her individual ambitions. To him, that's a natural conclusion. To her, it's a broken leg.  

Despite all this, I don't really dislike Buddy. He obviously cares about Esther. He even tries to connect with her by writing poetry of his own and telling her about doctor-poets in an attempt to join their two worlds. Buddy seems like a sweet guy, but some of his views are outdated and misogynistic, which results in him coming off as callous and self-centered. I definitely think Esther would've been unhappy with him, but I respect him for trying so hard to change that. Still, he needs to learn to take a hint.